


Separation Anxiety

by LaityAllyn



Category: Undertale
Genre: Anxiety, Depression, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Major Character Injury, Permanent Injury, Sadness, Self Confidence Issues, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Harm, Self-Hatred, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, kinda angsty, swapfell sans is kinda an ass
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-03
Updated: 2019-09-10
Packaged: 2019-10-03 05:13:56
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 8
Words: 9,750
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17277722
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LaityAllyn/pseuds/LaityAllyn
Summary: Swapfell Papyrus (Slim) gets in an accident and his brother (Black) is left to pick up the piecesThis is a self-indulgent side project and it won't update regularly. If you feel the same way as I do when waiting for a story to update  and think I'm taking too long feel free to visit my Tumblr:@LaityAllynand yell at me or in the meantime you can read some of my other stories





	1. Crash

**Author's Note:**

> warnings: major character injury described, but it's not graphic

It was Blue who called him first.

It had happened right outside the diner where Blue was working the early morning shift. In fact, that was probably where Slim had been heading when…

It was a drunk driver, Blue told him. The light had been red but they ran it anyway, and in the process…

Black sat on the old couch in the apartment he shared with his brother, unable to say anything. Blue had told him to sit down before he had told him anything else. It was good he had. Blue told him he was heading to the hospital before he hung up.

Black lowered the phone and stared at his trembling hands. He couldn’t drive himself to the hospital, he didn’t have his driver’s license yet, and it would be at least an hour and a half’s walk. That was too long to be alone with his thoughts.

The phone buzzed again and startled Black out of his reverie. It was Red, asking him if he needed a ride to the hospital. Red and his brother Edge lived the closest to the Swapfell brothers.

**“Yes please”**

_**“Alright. f-fifteen minutes.”** _came the clipped answer, Black let out a soft huff of amusement. He didn’t really get along with Red all that well but in the year or so that they had been forced to spend in Classic’s universe before their human had come and freed the underground Red and Slim had become very close. All the others had, but his brother had formed something special with Red and Blue. Red understood the difficulty of growing up in a fell verse world and Blue was always supportive of Slim and had gotten good at calming Slim down when his anxiety was acting up.

Black, on the other hand, knew the other skeletons put up with him only because they liked his brother. He couldn’t blame them either, he was rude, rough around the edges, openly treated his brother like shit around the others and showed no interest in that changing in the future. Only Stretch, Edge and Classic openly showed how much they disliked him. A few weeks into their stay in the main timeline Stretch had approached him and made it clear that if he harmed anyone, the tall skeleton would personally make sure that Black never bothered anyone else ever again. Classic never willingly left his brother, Rus, alone in the same room as Black. And Edge? Edge saw too much of himself in Black, from the way he treated his brother to his desire to always be the strongest person in the room.

Black sat in the apartment, unsure of what to do until Red arrived. He looked around but he had already been stress cleaning before Blue had called him. He remembered the reason Slim had been out in the early hours of the morning.

Slim had been behind on his half of the chores and after he came home from working the overnight shift he decided to nap until his next job instead of finishing them. Blck had gotten angry and yelled at him. Slim had left looking like he was about to cry, he hated making Black angry, most likely going to see Blue. A few minutes after he left Black had felt bad about making his brother so upset and started doing Slim’s half. After all, it was Slim who was working three jobs, not Black, he could barely keep one. It wasn’t Slim’s fault that their landlord was racist and they could barely afford to keep the apartment. It was Black’s fault that he couldn’t stay civil and keep a job. The least he could do was help out with his brother’s chores. After the chores were done he had gone back to sleep, fully expecting his brother to be there when he woke up.

But he wasn’t, and now…

Black rubbed furiously at his eye sockets, he couldn’t cry now. Red was almost here and he still had enough pride to not cry in front of anyone.

Thankfully he managed to keep from crying as he waited for Red and the awkwardly silent drive to the hospital. One look at Red told him that Red was barely holding himself together. There were faint tearstains running down his cheeks, he was gripping the wheel tighter than was necessary, and he refused to look at or speak to Black, staring straight out the front windshield instead. Black guessed that Edge was at work, and thus couldn’t be there to comfort Red when he heard the news.

When he got to the hospital Classic and Rus met them in the lobby.

“STRETCH AND BLUE ARE ALREADY IN THE ROOM.” Black nodded, when they came to the surface and had to be put into the human’s system, Rus had stuck with the story that they were all brothers in case anything happened to one of them, they all would know. “BROTHER,” Rus said, turning to Classic, “WHY DON’T YOU GO TELL THEM WE ARE ON OUR WAY UP.”

“sure thing bro.” Classic disappeared, no doubt teleporting over to the monster ward the hospital had been legally required to build.

“BLACK, HOW ARE YOU DOING?” asked Rus in a softer tone. Black just shrugged his shoulders. Luckily, the tall skeleton didn’t press him. Rus took a moment to pull the obviously distraught Red into a quick hug and then led the way to the room.

It was on the 8th floor of the building and the view out the windows was already making Black uncomfortable, he hated heights. That was why they had settled for their current, piece of shit, third-floor apartment. It had been the only one available that was open to monster tenants that was also on a lower level.

By the time they made it to the ICU Black had worked himself up to near tears again. He hated everything about this. He held them back as they walked into the room but at his first sight of his brother, the dam broke and he felt all the emotions he had been suppressing come back with a vengeance. 

He walked to the bedside as tears began to finally streak down his cheeks, screw pride. He could barely see his brother under all the bandages. There was a brace on his neck and bandages were wrapped all around his head, the only thing visible was his right eye socket, nasal cavity and the edge of his mouth, and he was breathing through a ventilator. Black reached out to take his brother’s hand but stopped when he saw the various tubes and IVs connected to the bone. He heard Rus usher everyone else out of the room and into the waiting area to give him some privacy. Rus re-entered the room and sat in the chair next to Slim’s repeating the diagnosis he had heard from the doctor earlier. Slim was stable now but he had suffered severe trauma all over his body. His ribcage had been crushed and there was damage to his spine, just above the pelvis. His right leg was in a cast but there were no other serious breaks that the healers hadn’t been able to take care. He was currently in a coma and if- no, when he wakes up said Rus, there was going to be some permanent damage that would most likely affect his ability to walk.

Black didn’t know what to say, he couldn’t say anything. Rus stood up from the chair and stood by Black.

“THE HEALERS DID A GOOD JOB BLACK. HE IS EXPECTED TO MAKE AN EXCELLENT RECOVERY. BESIDES, YOUR BROTHER IS VERY STRONG, I AM SURE HE WILL DO WELL.”

 **“I know he’s strong. I just can’t help but worry y-you know? J-just y-yesterday he w-was fine a-and n-n-ow…”** Black couldn’t keep speaking through the tears.

Black knew something the others didn’t that made his soul clench up with worry. It was the extent of his brother’s self-loathing. The others had noticed it to some extent but Black had lived with his brother all his life. Slim hated himself, he blamed himself for every bad thing that had happened to the brothers. When they couldn’t pay the rent on time Slim blamed himself, even though he was the one working three jobs and Black couldn’t even keep one. When something upset Black it was automatically Slim’s fault for not doing something to prevent it. Black knew how much his brother hated himself but he didn’t know to help. So, instead of helping, he ignored it or, when he was frustrated, even agreed and added to the heaps of blame his brother already placed on his own shoulders.

Yes, his brother was physically strong, growing up in the underground as an orphan and raising Black at the same time had done that to him. But what worried Black the most was his brother’s mental state. Monster souls were very finicky, the difference between them and human souls. If a monster had strong enough feelings of depression and self-hate they could fall down and dust, even if they had a healthy body. Black knew that it didn’t matter if his brother’s body healed, all that mattered was his soul and his brother’s soul…

The tears fell faster and he felt his shoulders shake with the strength of his emotions fighting for dominance. Despair and worry, but what won was anger. He was angry at the driver, he was angry at his brother for not paying attention and taking better care of himself, but most of all he was angry with himself. He was angry for being the reason his brother had been out wandering the streets instead of dozing on the couch in their apartment, he was angry for not taking better care of his brother, for ignoring the pain he was in, for making it worse.

Black felt Rus tentatively wrap an arm around him as he stood there. Black didn’t push him away, he had learned early on that you didn’t fight Rus on matters like these. Instead, he simply allowed himself to be held and tried not to think of how high the probability was of his brother never waking up again.


	2. crumbling

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Black has a mild freak out, he's also not the only one whose stressed out

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you guys start noticing some inconsistencies feel free to yell at me in the comments or over on my Tumblr: [LaityAllyn](https://laityallyn.tumblr.com/)

He couldn’t bring himself to look through the pamphlets they’d given him at the hospital. They were lying on the coffee table, untouched since he returned for the hospital. That had been two weeks ago. He had only managed to visit his brother once in that time, and that was only because Rus had come and driven him there. Seeing his brother in such a state brought out strong emotions in his soul, ones he couldn’t keep down. So he elected to avoid them, after all, it wasn’t like his brother could tell he was there. 

Currently, he was looking online for job postings, it had been hours and all he was getting was frustrated. The rent was due next week and without the income from Slim’s three jobs, Black knew he wouldn’t have much left for next month if he paid with what he had now. He toyed with the idea of selling some of their furniture online but realized that they probably wouldn’t bring in any more money than they had originally bought for, which was pretty much nothing. All their furniture was practically garbage when they bought it and they never had the surplus money to replace them. In fact, the whole apartment was pretty bare, there were no decorations on the walls, the kitchen had the bare minimum in terms of utensils, there was no TV because Black had decided that it was a better investment to purchase a computer, and the only things that could be termed a “decoration” was a small potted aloe plant on the windowsill that had been a gift to Slim from Red and his brother's pet rock, which was currently sitting on the coffee table next to the pamphlets.

Black looked at the rock, it seemed to be staring at him, mocking his lack of employment. The two uneven googly eyes that Slim had crudely glued on with hot glue seemed to bore into his very soul. It was infuriating. Black tried to ignore it, pushing away the thought that it might not be the rock that was making him so upset. But as the minutes ticked by he found yet another well paying job that was not available to monsters, he needed an outlet for his rage.

He grabbed the rock from the table and threw it as hard as he could into the open door of his brother’s room only to freeze when he heard a loud metallic clang and a soft crack.

 **“Shit.”** the landlord was already racist, he was already walking on thin ice. Black wasn’t sure if he could find his way out of trouble if he had done any damage to the apartment.

He stood up slowly, cursing himself for the outburst. He knew better. He had to control his temper. It only caused him trouble in the long run. 

He stood in the doorway of his brother’s darkened room. He reached over to flip the light switch, bracing himself for the damage. He quickly surveyed the bare room, the walls were, thankfully, intact. But the rock had hit something, he had heard something break. He looked for the unlucky casualty.

But there was none, or _almost_ none. The apartment itself was fine and Black breathed a sigh of relief. The rock had hit the bedframe, and presumably, rolled under the bed. Black bent down to pick up the rock but when he pulled his hand out from under the bed he was not holding what he was expecting.

Black sat on the floor of his brother’s room holding roughly a third of his brother’s pet rock. 

Well, that’s where the cracking noise came from, said the part of him that was trying to stay calm. The other part of him was yelling at him for doing something so stupid. The rock wasn’t even his. He quickly collected the rest of the pieces and carried them to the coffee table. He sat there, looking at three uneven, jagged chunks of rock. One of the chunks still had a googly eye attached, the other eye, slightly crushed from being smashed between the rock and the bed frame, had come loose.

Black shifted the broken pieces in his hands. He didn’t know how to fix this, he didn’t know how to fix anything. He felt tears gather at the edges of his sockets, like the rock, his life was in shambles now. But that was all he was good at wasn’t it, he thought bitterly, He was the one who broke things. His brother was the one who did damage control. The tears began to slowly make their way down his cheeks.

This couldn’t be happening, a feeling of numbness spread through his chest. Everything seemed like a terrible dream, all he had to do was wake up.

Black sank down onto the floor, back pressed to the couch and arms wrapped around his ribcage. All he had to do was wake up, right? He squeezed his ribs, hard. The pain told him he wasn’t dreaming, that his brother was still probably dying in a hospital that Black wasn’t even close enough to visit on his own. The tears that were gathered at the corners of his eyes finally slipped down his cheeks. He didn’t bother to wipe them off, no one was here, no one was judging him. Black allowed himself to slump sideways until he was laying on his side in front of the couch. He stopped any effort to hold back the tears and emotions he had been denying since he got the news.

Exhausted from crying, Black began to doze off but was startled by a buzz from his phone. Blue was calling him.

**“Hello?”**

_“HEY BLACK!”_ Blue practically shouted into the phone

 **“What do you want?”** Black grumbled, holding the phone a little further from his skull.

 _“WELL, RED AND I HAVE BEEN BAKING AND,”_ Black let out a short huff, he knew where this was going. _“WE ENDED UP MAKING MUCH MORE THAN WE PLANNED AND RED MAY OR MAY NOT HAVE BEEN BANNED FROM BAKING WITHOUT HIS BROTHER AROUND,”_

 ** _“asshole says I ‘stress bake’, whatever that means”_ ** came the muffled complaint from Red who was near enough to the phone to be heard. 

_“SO, SINCE YOU LIVE THE CLOSEST WE WERE WONDERING IF YOU COULD HELP US HIDE THE EVIDENCE. WE OBVIOUSLY CAN’T JUST THROW AWAY EVERYTHING WE’VE MADE.”_

**“What do you expect me to do?”** asked Black trying to sound indignant. He wasn’t actually opposed to the idea. Red was a phenomenal baker and a quick interaction wouldn’t be all bad. It would probably distract him from how he was feeling now, and he definitely needed a distraction.

_“JUST TAKE SOME OF IT, ALL WE NEED TO DO IS CONVINCE EDGE THAT WE DIDN’T GO OVER THE TOP WHEN HE COMES BACK FROM WORK.”_

**“Fine, I’ll be over there in twenty minutes”**

_“REALLY? THANK YOU-”_ Black hung up the phone so he wouldn’t have to listen to Blue gush for the next ten minutes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I suck at worldbuilding so if you have questions feel free to visit my Tumblr where you can ask the skeletons questions directly, or you can ask me. My username is [LaityAllyn](https://laityallyn.tumblr.com/)


	3. A Chance Encounter

The sky was dark with rain when Black stepped out of his apartment building. He was grateful for the distance between his apartment and the Underfell bother’s house. The walk would give him time to compose himself after his...breakdown before he would have to deal the extreme amount of energy Blue always managed to keep with him. How Blue managed to be so peppy was always a mystery to him. 

He was prepared though, to face that enthusiasm and not the nervous energy that met him when the front door of the fell brother’s house opened and revealed a not-so-chipper Blue. Black took a double take as he looked at Blue, the slightly shorter skeleton had dark circles under his eye sockets, his normally neat and tidy outfit was disheveled and his eyelights were dimmer than usual. Black made no comment on Blue’s appearance.

_“BLACK! THANK YOU FOR COMING.”_

**“Whatever, it’s fine.”** He brushed past Blue and headed for the kitchen. Red was was taking yet another pie out of the oven and the kitchen was filled with an almost heavenly aroma. Set out on the dining room table were half a dozen pies, at least three batches of cookies, numerous types of muffins and a large chocolate cake. It all looked good but Black knew from experience that good didn’t even begin to describe the level of Red’s baking. Red set the last pie on a potholder on the table to cool and leaned against the kitchen counter with a sigh.

**_”ok...maybe i stress bake”_ **

Black scoffed, looking once more at the heaps of baked goods on the table.

**“How much do you want me to take?”**

Red walked over to the table sorting through the items, separating them into three piles. **_”that one.”_** To Black’s surprise, Red pointed to the largest pile, four pies, most of the cookies, and about half of the muffins. Black had secretly been hoping for the chocolate cake but this disappointment was shortlived.

 ** _”Blue can take that one,”_** he said, pointing to the next largest pile, **_”and i’ll keep these,_** he pointed to the cake and a few muffins. **_”boss shouldn’t be too mad about these.”_**

_”PERFECT!”_ Black nearly jumped, startled by Blue’s near shout, Red looked at Blue, and Black wondered if Red knew what had Blue in such a mood. Instead of saying anything Red just nodded and began to put Black’s portion into some plastic grocery bags.

**_”yeah”_ **

He handed the bags to Black, who took them gratefully. As he was heading towards the door, this whole encounter being nothing but awkward and being very ready to leave, he paused. 

**“Red, do you have a hot glue gun?”** Red nodded looking slightly confused. **”Could I borrow it?”**

\-------------------------------

As Black made his way home the clouds finally gave out, rain pouring from the sky. Black cursed and took a side street, one where the awnings of the buildings shielded him from the rain. Most of the stores were closed but one had its lights on, catching Black’s eye. The name of the store was 4th street books, a completely unimaginative name and quite frankly, thought Black, a little stupid considering that the street it was on was 13th street. But it didn’t matter what he thought of the name, what interested him was the small sign in the window that advertized a job opening. Black dimly wondered if the opening was exclusive to humans but he pushed the thought away, hurrying home before the pies got ruined. 

As he looked at all the food he had gotten he realized that he wouldn’t have to buy groceries this week. Monster food was made from magic so eating healthy foods didn’t really matter as much as it did for human foods and as far as he was remembered, Red and Fell actually had the money to buy from a monster grocery store. 

He wondered if that was why they had insisted on giving him so much food. All the other skeletons knew Black’s predicament. Suddenly Black wanted to refuse the help, if that was what it was. He didn’t need their charity! He thought to himself, slightly enraged. He was his own monster, he was fine! They all acted like he would fall apart without...without...without his brother around. He felt his rage dissipate, of course they would think that. All the others had much stronger bonds with their brothers. Hell, they could fall down and dust if they were in Black’s position, and if what he had heard bits and pieces of when he was still living in Undertale were true, they probably would. 

Black put the pies in the fridge, the cookies and muffins in some Tupperware containers, and wrote down the name of the bookstore he had seen on the way home. Tomorrow he would go and see if he could fill out an application and maybe he would be able to pay the rent. He glanced at the hot glue gun he had borrowed from Red and grabbed it off of the table. Hopefully, tomorrow would go well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Come visit me at my Tumblr [LaityAllyn](https://laityallyn.tumblr.com/)


	4. Maybe...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short chapter today, I've been busy with family stuff lately.

When morning came the rain hadn’t let up at all. Black had to dig out the ratty old umbrella he hadn’t used in ages, taking him fifteen extra minutes and throwing off his whole schedule for the day. Needless to say, he was already grumpy when the car drove by just a little too fast through a puddle and splashed muddy water on his nice set of clothes. The day had started off so poorly Black wanted to go back to his apartment and forget about his plans for the morning. But he was only a few blocks from the store and Rus wasn’t picking him up until the taller skeleton had finished work this afternoon. Pushed forward by the realization that if he didn’t get a job soon his apartment wouldn’t be his anymore Black kept moving, grinding his teeth together in frustration.

It wouldn’t be good if he lost the chance of a job before he even got an application, that was, _if_ they were willing to give applications to monsters. He pushed the door open, a bell rang softly, not disturbing anyone but alerting them that someone had entered the store. There were a few customers wandering through the shelves and the store smelled like cinnamon, most likely the result of the multitude of candles burning on stands situated all through the small store, giving it an overall warm feeling contrasting strongly with the bleak weather outside. Black headed straight for the front counter. There was a young man behind the counter, he couldn’t have been more than twenty years old, who perked up as he drew closer.

“Hello!” he said brightly, “Can I help you with anything today sir?” Black wanted to scoff at the chipper attitude, no one could really be this happy dealing with people all day. But he controlled himself.

**“I saw you had a position open, I would like to apply.”**

“Alright!” the human hardly reacted, “I’ll get you an application. Do you have a copy of your resume?” Black nodded, a little surprised with how comfortable this human seemed with a monster applying at his workplace. “Great!” He handed Black an empty application form “If you want you can sit at that table and fill it out. When you’re done, just staple them together and I can take care of it from there.” Black walked over to the table the human had pointed at, sitting down and grabbing a pen from a basket on the table. The application form was very basic, it wasn’t hard to fill out and it only took black a few minutes. He brought the application and a copy of his resume back up to the front counter. The human, whose name tag was still facing the wrong direction, smiled again and stapled the papers. 

“Alright, you should get an email within a week or so. Have a nice day!” 

Black exited the store, still a little dumbfounded with the human’s chipper attitude. He realized later, as Rus picked him up from his apartment that evening, why the attitude had seemed so familiar. Rus spoke in the same way, him and the human would probably get along well, assuming the human wasn’t pretending he wasn’t insulted by the very existence of monsterkind. Black frowned at the thought, perhaps the human wasn’t bothered by a monster applying at his workplace because he knew a monster would never be considered for a job. 

“BLACK, DID YOU HEAR ME?”

Black tuned to look at Rus, they were stopped at a red light and Rus was looking directly at him. 

**”Sorry, no”**

“I SAID I SHOULD BE BACK TO PICK YOU UP AT SEVEN.” Black nodded and they drove the rest of the way to the hospital in silence.

\------------------------------  
The first thing Black did when he walked into his brother’s room was empty out his bag. He set the succulent on the windowsill, a few origami animals he had found in his brother’s closet scattered around the room, and finally, he set Slim’s pet rock on the table next to his bedside. It was lumpy and the pieced didn’t fit perfectly back together but Black had forced them to stay in one piece with copious amounts of hot glue. The left eye was still a bit crumpled there was nothing to be done about that. 

Black sat down in a chair next to his brother’s bed, unsure of what to do next. There wasn’t really anything for him to do, he was alone with his brother. Tentatively, Black reached for the hand closest to him. He bushed his fingers along the back of Slim’s knuckles, taking the hand in both of his. Experimentally he reached out with his magic but was met with no reply. He was expecting it but it still put a damper on his mood. Still, he didn’t withdraw his magic. Even if his brother didn’t respond there was still a chance he could feel his presence. After ignoring his brother’s problems for so long, Black didn’t want him to feel alone. 

**“I applied for a job today, at a bookstore. It’s small but nice. You would like it there, the whole place smells like cinnamon.”** Slim liked to bake with Red, whatever they made together always ended up with at least some traces of cinnamon in it. **“If I get the job I think I can keep the apartment…"** Black trailed off, he didn’t really have much else to say. Instead, he turned on the TV, flipping through the channels until he found a cooking show. Back in the underground on the rare occasions Black wasn’t upset with Slim for one reason or another they would watch cooking shows together. Of course, Black would sit on the couch and Slim would sit on the furthest chair so he didn’t annoy Black with his constant fidgeting, ruining the moment. 

Black glanced at the clock, it was just after five thirty. He was glad he had eaten breakfast and lunch today, his magic reserves were full as a result. Black sat back in his chair and continued to let his magic trickle into his brother’s soul. Maybe he would talk to Rus about this. Rus would probably be more than happy to sit with his brother for a few hours and keep him company, in fact, all the skeletons would probably be willing to sacrifice a little of their magic and time to possibly help his brother recover faster. He would talk to Rus first, Black decided, the Rus could talk to the others. This would minimize the injury to his pride. Black looked over at his brother, feeling slightly guilty that he wasn’t able to sacrifice more. His pride was one of the problems here, it had been for a long time. 

But he was working on it, in baby steps, but working on it nonetheless.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Come visit me on my [Tumblr](https://laityallyn.tumblr.com/)


	5. Easy as pie

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Come visit me at my Tumblr [LaityAllyn](https://laityallyn.tumblr.com/). Follow me for updates on tentative posting schedules.

When Black got home he was surprised to find that he had already been emailed about his application. There must have not been many people interested in the tiny bookstore. Either that, or the owner had seen that he was a monster and wasn't going to give him a chance. Black sat down on the couch with the laptop. It was now or never, he told himself, clicking on the email. 

They wanted an interview! Black felt his sockets widen in surprise, he had been telling himself that he wouldn’t get an interview just to keep from getting his hopes up only to be crushed. He immediately emailed back, replying that he was available Tuesday or Thursday, whenever they found convenient.

With the email sent, Black walked to his room and flopped down on his bed. He was exhausted from spending two and a half hours pushing magic into his brother’s soul. He would have to eat more if he was planning on keeping this up. Within a few minutes he was out cold.

\-------------------------------

It was cold. 

Why was it cold?

The snow drifted down around him as he walked through the trees. _trees?_ Black kept walking, he was looking for something. He couldn’t remember what though…

In the clearing up ahead he saw his brother. Slim was standing completely still, facing away from Black, snow gathering on top of his head and shoulders.

**“ Hey! mutt, what do you think you’re doing? Get your lazy ass back to your post”** Black growled. Slim didn’t move.

**“MUTT!”**

**“sorry captain”**

Black was a few feet away from him now but froze in his tracks as his brother slowly turned around. 

The left half of Slim’s face was gone.

Well no, it wasn’t gone it was turning to dust. 

Black tried to move, to speak, to do **anything** but he couldn’t. He stood there, frozen in place as he watched his brother slowly turn to dust before his very eyes. 

With a soft thud, Slim’s jacket hit the ground and Black suddenly found himself able to move. He surged forward reaching for the jacket, tears welling in his sockets. But as his hand gripped the fur lined hood…

Black woke up with a start, tears streaming down his face. He glanced at the screen of his phone charging on the table near his bed. It was only eleven thirty. Black let out a sigh, falling back on the mattress and scrubbing the tears from his sockets. He tried to fall back asleep but it was all in vain. He spent a good two hours tossing and turning before he gave up. The apartment felt empty without the soft sound of his brother’s snores coming from his room. Black got out of bead and shuffled to the kitchen, pausing to turn on the lamp in the living room, which lit up the majority of the small apartment. Black glanced longingly at the pies in the fridge as he grabbed the milk. No, he told himself, it was too late for pie, he was stronger than this. The Magnificent Sans would not be bested by his stress-induced cravings! Still, as he poured himself a bowl of cheerios he knew they could never rival the satisfaction one got from eating one of Red’s pies.

After he had eaten his sad bowl of cheerios Black sat down on the couch, wondering if it would be worth it to power up his computer and watch some youtube for the next hour or so, at least until he felt tired enough to hopefully get some sleep without dreaming. He sat there for a while, conflicted. He knew that if watched youtube he would end up watching creepypastas or some other ghostish paranormal bullshit that humans loved to fake. And while he did enjoy the horror stories he knew that they would probably keep him up all night.

Eventually he decided to just go to sleep but as he reached the doorway to his room he paused. He turned and made his way to Slim’s bedroom and grabbed the blanket off of the bed. He went back to his room and laid down, covering himself with the blanket. He hadn’t washed it for a while and he could smell soft hints of cinnamon and cigaret smoke. The smell was comforting, he didn’t feel so alone and he eventually drifted off to sleep.

\----------------------------

Black decided to have pie for breakfast. It was monster food after all, his body would turn it into magic and treat it like any other kind of breakfast food he could have eaten instead he reasoned. He picked an apple pie to cut into first, the blend of cinnamon, nutmeg, and allspice was heavenly and he didn’t regret taking another slice after he had finished his first. 

Black was going to run errands today, and that made him nervous. Currently, he had enough money to pay this months rent and a little more. If he didn’t get the job at the bookstore he would be left with practically no money if he spent what wasn’t going towards rent today. But the errands needed to be done and he had time today before Rus picked him up again. 

His first stop was the grocery store, unfortunately not the monster one. As he walked along some of the busier streets he couldn’t help but feel the stares he was getting from many of the humans. He was sure that he had nearly caused at least two car accidents as the drivers turned and gawked at the monster who dared to pay a visit into a predominantly human part of town instead of looking at the road in front of them. Black suddenly wished that he had worn something with a hood, so he could cover himself up more and escape their scrutiny. At least none of them were being violent, he had dealt with angry humans who didn’t like him in their part of town before. 

Inside the store wasn’t much better, a few humans stopped in their tracks and stared at him as he made his way along the aisles. Thankfully, the grocery store had a small aisle with other things he needed like paper towels, light bulbs, dish soap, and kitchen sponges. There was also a small section for miscellaneous items like markers, small toys, craft materials, and paper. A pad of brightly colored origami paper caught Black’s attention as he passed by. He tossed it in his basket and hurried to the checkout before he could change his mind. 

After an awkward checkout Black started walking towards the Fell brother’s house. He had been lucky and the grocery store had all he needed and the only other thing on his list for the day was to return Red’s hot glue gun. Edge looked confused when he opened the door but Black just gave him the hot glue gun and left, not wanting to bother Edge. When he got home he curled up on his bed with his computer. His chest felt heavy, like someone or something was pressing down on it. He always felt this way after being around too many humans for too long. He opened his computer, deciding that he would watch youtube for the next three hours until Rus came to pick him up. He was a grown ass adult, no one could tell him not to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> mutt:  
> noun:  
> 1\. a dog, especially a mongrel.  
> synonyms: mongrel, hound, dog, cur, tyke
> 
> 2.a person regarded as stupid or incompetent.  
> synonyms: fool, idiot, ass, halfwit, nincompoop, blockhead, buffoon, dunce, dolt, ignoramus, cretin, imbecile, dullard, moron, simpleton, clod
> 
> Black is using the second definition, he doesn't treat Slim like a dog, even if they don't get along too well.
> 
> Come visit me at my Tumblr [LaityAllyn](https://laityallyn.tumblr.com/).


	6. okay...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm not very proud of this chapter, it's kinda just filler so I can get to the more important parts of the story

Black woke up to a hand on his shoulder. He jerked up, trying to gather his magic, but there was nothing. Why was it gone!

“BLACK.”

Black finally felt himself wake up fully, he was leaning against Slim’s hospital bed holding his brother’s hand in his own, a steady flow of magic from his soul told him why he couldn’t conjure any a few moments ago. Black stared up at Rus who, he realized as he glanced at the clock, was here to pick him up. 

“IT’S TIME TO GO.” Black reluctantly set down his brother’s bag and gathered the origami paper he had been trying to fold earlier. Sliding them into his bag he walked to the door and waited for Rus, who was staring a little forlornly at the monitor that displayed the soft, fragile beats of Slim’s soul. He only lingered a moment but his silence, an oddity for Rus, followed them not only out of the hospital, but all the way to Black’s apartment building. Only when Black reached for the door handle did Rus finally speak.

“HAVE YOU TALKED TO BLUE LATELY?” Black raised a brow at the question. 

“Yes, why?” Rus looked away like Black had asked for an answer that wasn’t his to tell.

“DID HE SEEM OFF TO YOU?” Black nodded, “BECAUSE HE SEEMS OFF TO ME, BUT STRETCH KEEPS TELLING ME HE’S FINE. HE’S BEEN THIS WAY EVER SINCE SLIM GOT HURT SO…” Black wasn’t sure what to do with this new information, both Blue and Red had seemed upset when he had visited but he had attributed that to the recent accident. Blue and Red were easily the most emotional of the bunch. 

**“He seemed off but Red was also there so I guessed they were feeding off of each other.”** Rus nodded as he looked at his steering wheel, Black got the idea that he wanted to continue so he refrained from closing the door. 

“I...I WAS THINKING OF HAVING DINNER… WITH EVERYONE, LIKE BEFORE. I KNOW YOU AREN’T THE FONDEST OF THEM SO I THOUGHT IT WOULD ASK YOU IN PERSON INSTEAD OF OVER TEXT.”

**“When?”** Rus’s eyes lit up and he seemed to get a little of his regular excitement back. 

“NEXT TUESDAY NIGHT.” Black sighed, he had no reason not to go.

**”Fine. I’ll go”** The happy look on Rus’s face was enough to tell him that he had made the right decision. **“I need to ask a favor though,”** Rus lifted a brow questioningly. **”Does your brother have a suit jacket I could borrow? Blue doesn’t own one and Red is the size of an eight-year-old child”** Black was going to continue but was cut off by a huff from Rus. 

“BE NICE.”

**“The wind could literally blow him away, anything he owns would be too small on me and your brother is the closest to me in height.”**

“WHAT DO YOU NEED IT FOR?” There wasn’t anything accusing in Rus’s tone, just curiosity. Black wondered if he should Tell Rus about the interview or not, he still wasn’t sure if he would get the job or not and if he didn't he wasn’t sure he could take the pity that Rus and the others would feel for him for being a failure. But it didn’t seem like Rus was going to answer his first question until he told him why he needed the jacket.

**“I have a job interview.”** There was a spark of excitement on Rus’s eyelights but he didn’t comment on the fact that Black had actually managed to get as far as an interview. 

“WHEN?” 

**”Sometime this week, I’m not quite sure yet.”**

“I THINK HE DOES, BUT I’M NOT SURE I CAN VOUCH FOR IT’S GOOD CONDITION. I HAVENT SEEN HIM WEAR IT IN MONTHS AND WHO KNOWS WHAT THAT LAZYBONES HAS MANAGED TO DO TO IT SINCE THEN.” Black nodded, he had seen how long it took his lazier counterpart to turn his clean room into an absolute pigsty.”I’LL BRING IT OVER TONIGHT IF IT’S CLEAN, TOMORROW IF IT NEEDS ANY ATTENTION.”

**”Thank you”**

“ANYTIME, IF YOU NEED ANYTHING ELSE JUST ASK.”

**”I’ll keep it in mind.”**  
\---------------------------------------------

Black was in the forest again. 

Why was he here again? Something nagged him in the back of his mind. He knew why he was here, he just couldn’t remember. 

As he trudged forward he realized he was walking in a set of footprints. They were _his_ footprints. His feet lined up perfectly with the holes in the snow and, looking back Black could see that he had followed the footprints perfectly, he had made no new footprints on this trip.

Unsure of what to do Black continued to follow the footprints to a small clearing where he saw it. The pile of dust.

And his brother’s jacket.

Black rushed forward, finally tearing himself out of the orderly path of footprints and making a fresh set of tracks in the powdery snow. 

He reached for the jacket, but in vain. The moment his fingers closed around the fabric he woke up.

Black got out of bed, not sure of what to do but sure that he needed to do _something_ , anything to take his mind off of his most recent nightmare.

This time he wasn’t able to deny himself a slice of pie at the late hour, it was a lot harder to resist when it was already cut and all he had to do was take a piece.

Maybe he did need to talk to someone, he realized. Maybe not to the extent of a therapist, he didn’t have the money for that and he didn’t really find the idea of telling all his problems to a human all that appealing, but he definitely needed to confide in someone. Black sighed as rubbed his sockets. This was a problem for tomorrow.

When Black made it back to his bedroom he found himself staring at his bed, unable to climb in. he sighed again, grabbed the phone charger from next to his bed, and walked into his brother’s bedroom. This time he didn’t bother just taking the blanket, he climbed under the covers and stayed there.

\------------------------------------------------

When Black woke up he found an email about the interview. They had asked if he could come in just after they closed up the shop at six on Thursday. He quickly responded saying that the time was convenient for him. 

With the uncertainty about his interview, Black felt like a weight was gone from his chest. Now he knew what was going on and he could prepare for it. If there was one thing he hated the most it was being out of control. If he knew what was happening when and where he had some control, nothing was going to jump out and surprise him. 

It was only monday after all, what could possibly happen in three days?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Come visit me on my [Tumblr](https://laityallyn.tumblr.com/) and ask me or the skellies some questions


	7. Thursday

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this one's kinda short

When Black woke up Thursday morning he felt awful. He felt like he hadn’t slept at all even though he had gone to bed early to prepare for his interview and his entire body ached. Of all the days to get sick it _had_ to be today…

Black groaned as he forced himself to get out of bed and start the day. All he wanted to do was climb back into bed and sleep until he needed to get up for his interview but he knew that if he didn’t start his day now he would be groggy during the interview and there was no way he could afford to blow this. If he didn’t get the job he wouldn’t be able to pay rent after this week and he wouldn’t have any money for groceries.

Black stumbled into the kitchen and grabbed a few of Red’s muffins. Hopefully the magic he got from the muffins would help clear his head. All of a Sudden Black realized how interesting the pattern of his kitchen counter seemed to be. The faint impression of the grain of wood embedded in the laminate drew him in. The closer he looked the more enticing the pattern became and in almost no time at all, Black was resting his forehead against his countertops. 

When his phone buzzed, Black jerked back into reality realizing, with a shock, that he had just dozed off standing up for the better part of an hour. Stars, he really was sick. What was that human phrase? Oh, yes, “when it rains it pours.” of course when he gets sick he gets extremely sick. He dragged himself to the coffee maker, filled it with water and grabbed the bag of coffee grounds from the cabinet above. He didn’t like to drink coffee every morning, it was far too expensive of a habit to keep now that they were on the surface, but today he definitely needed a cup to wake himself up. 

Black drank his coffee and ate the muffins slowly, hoping that if he took long enough he wouldn’t have time to clean the apartment before his interview. But it was a vain hope, by the time he had finished it was only ten thirty. With another groan Black forced himself to get up and grab the cleaning supplies from the cabinet under the sink. He filled a bucket with water and added cleaner. When he put the mop in the bucket he realized he had added too much water, but his body was on autopilot and he let the mop reach the bottom of the bucket, sending a cascade of fresh smelling water over the rim of the bucket.

He stared down at the mess for a moment before quickly mopping all of the non-carpeted floors. Normally he would do a more thorough job but the sickly sweet scent of the cleaner he added to the water was making him feel nauseous. Moving on to the carpeted floors Black pulled out the dingy little vacuum from the tiny closet and grabbed the extension cord off of the top shelf. The cord on the vacuum was far too short to reach everywhere in the apartment, despite how small the apartment was. 

Black made it halfway through the living room before he had to stop. The sound of the vacuum mixed with the vapors from the cleaner earlier were making his head pound. His arms trembled as he attempted to keep a grip on the vacuum, the red and green threads that peppered the surface of the raggy beige carpet blending into a more unpleasant form of beige. As he looked up at the clock Black realized that it wasn’t even noon yet.

Defeated, Black let go of the vacuum, grabbed his phone off of the counter and set an alarm for four thirty and collapsed onto his brother’s bed, wrapping the blankets around himself and inhaling the lingering scent of cigarette smoke.

\-------------------------

Luckily the sleep was a dreamless one. When Black awoke to his alarm he felt as if he had just closed his eyes a few seconds ago. But his headache had gotten better. Black desperately wanted to set another alarm and sleep for another half hour.

But he was better than that. Black dragged himself to the bathroom and looked at himself in the mirror. Stars, he looked terrible. There were dark circle under his sockets, his eyelights were dimmer than usual and his skull had a rather ashy tone. 

**“Get ahold of your self”** , Black growled at his reflection, **"Have some self-discipline.”** The surface was making him weak. Back in the underground he rarely ever missed work because he was sick. Sure, he did have Slim take over the household chores like making breakfast and such, but he took his duty as a member of the Gaurd very seriously. 

How far he’d fallen, Black thought, He had gone from one of the most powerful monsters in the underground, to hoping to get what was going to probably turn out as a minimum wage job just so he could keep his shitty apartment. Blck took a deep breath and looked at himself in the mirror. Right now he really wished he had some of his old makeup to cover up the bags under his eyes. He used to use it on bruises and minor wounds. There was no sense in covering up scars, they were a sign of strength, but small wounds just made you look weak. He had always refused to let Slim heal his wounds, each one was a reminder of how dangerous his job was, how one mistake could get him dusted. The aches and stings kept him vigilant, a constant reminder of the importance of diligence and self-control. 

But Slim hadn’t cared. He felt bad every time he saw Black wince in pain or have to steady himself on a chair or the counter because of his exhaustion. Black was nearly one hundred percent sure that his brother had infused his food with healing magic whenever he got the chance.

Black wondered if his brother had also done that on the rare occasions that he prepared breakfast. Maye that was why he was feeling so sick right now. 

Black turned from the mirror and grabbed the suit jacket Rus had dropped off a few days ago, Picking out his pair of black slacks and a soft grey shirt. After he changed into them he took one final look in the mirror. 

He still looked like shit but at least he looked like well-dressed shit.

Black gave one final sigh before heading out of the apartment.

Things were a lot easier with his brother around.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> feel free to come visit me on tumblr here: [LaityAllyn](https://laityallyn.tumblr.com/) you can ask me or any of the skeletons questions


	8. sick

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just so you all know I could have traumatized children more in this chapter than I already did

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the long breaks and excuses in between posts lately

The interview went about as well as Black could have hoped for under the circumstances. He arrived punctually and was led into the back room by the excitable young human he had met on his first visit, whom he now knew as David from his name tag, where he sat across from a young woman who he presumed was the owner. 

She had an athletic build, and carried an aura of seriousness around her that Black admired. If Black didn’t know that the combined strain of running a business and having any other hobby on the side he would have guessed that she had been a professional athlete. She had an oval face shape and soft features framed by curly brown hair that contrasted with her pale skin. She was kind and welcoming but still remained professional. 

Black hoped he wasn’t making too bad of a first impression. After all, how would the human know he was sick? She had nothing to compare his current state to. She might just assume that he was always distracted and shaky. It took an immense amount of control to keep his magic from manifesting as sweat on his skull. The last thing he needed right now was purple liquid leaking out of his face. 

“We’ll call or email you Friday to let you know if you got the job.” chattered David as he walked up to the front of the store, unlocking the door to allow Black to leave. “It’ll probably be late in the evening, you know, once all the other interviews are done. 

**“Thank you”** muttered Black as he pushed his way out of the door, eager to escape the human’s incessant blabbering. Maybe he could have dealt with him another day but right now he felt like shit and the sheer amount of magic he had used to keep composure during the interview meant he was ready to pass out at any moment now. 

Somehow he managed to make his way to his apartment complex without passing out in an alley and getting mugged, climb the stairs, and unlock his door. Black shrugged off the suit jacket he had borrowed and, deciding his bed was too far away, passed out on the couch.

\----------------------------  
Papyrus was crying. 

Sans didn’t know why, and Papyrus sure wasn't telling him anything. He had run into the cave they were using as a temporary home, straight into the corner where they kept the ratty nest of blankets the slept on. Sans was a little annoyed, he hadn’t eaten since yesterday and he was hungry again. Papyrus was supposed to go get food but he came back empty handed, pushing Sans away when he ran over to give his brother the customary welcome back hug.

Determined to find out why his brother was acting so strange, Sans tiptoed over to the corner where Papyrus was hiding under the blankets. He took a deep breath and prepared himself, Papyrus had told him that what he was about to do was rude and he worried that Papyrus would hate him for it but he had to know what was going on! Papyrus was always smiling and joking with him! What had upset his big brother like this? 

Taking one final deep breath Sans reached out with his magic and CHECKed his brother. Papyrus shot up as he felt the magic and tried to say something but it was too late. Sans’s sockets widened at the state of his brother’s stats. He was missing almost half of his HP! But there was something else… something Sans didn’t understand. He looked to Papyrus for answers but his brother had drawn his knees up to his chest and put his head between them. He flinched with each word as Sans asked:

** “Papy? What's LV?” **

\-------------------------------

When Black awoke the world was fuzzy. Shapes swam before his eyes and he could hear voices. There was someone else here, two someones in fact. And he wasn’t on the couch anymore, he couldn’t feel the springs jabbing into him. So, he wondered groggily, where was he? The taller shape and the shorter shape were definitely talking to each other, not him but what were they talking about? Before he could wander any further down that rabbit hole the taller shape moved closer to him and a green light flashed in his vision before everything went dark again.

\--------------------------------

It was the forrest again. Black knew there was something missing, something he had to find but he couldn’t remember what it was. He stopped in place and let his gaze wander across the seemingly endless treeline. Then, looking down, he saw the footprints. They pulled him deeper and deeper into the forest and Black followed them step for step until he came to a patch of disturbed snow. It was then that it hit him. 

Where was his brother?

He ran forward, following the path of disturbed snow until he came to a clearing. In the center was his brother’s jacket but… there was something moving under it. Sans crept forward and lifted the jacket. Underneath it was a child. 

It was Papyrus and he was crying again. 

All of the sudden Papyrus was bigger than him and Sans realized he was a child as well. The jacket disappeared from his grasp and the woods around him faded into the walls of their cave. 

Sans crawled onto his brother’s lap and hugged him tightly around the waist. Of course, what Papyrus had told him was very scary but he knew all Papyrus wanted to do was stay safe so it was ok. Papyrus was really nice, he always told him jokes when he was sad and gave him candy whenever he found it even though he had a sweet tooth himself. Papyrus would never hurt anyone on purpose. 

“Please…” Papyrus whimpered, returning Sans’s hug “Please don’t leave me, I-I know I did s-something horrible but please don’t leave me.”

Sans tried to reply, tried to reassure his brother that he wouldn’t leave him for anything but he was alone. Both the cave walls and his brother had disappeared.

 **“Papy?”** Sans cried **“Papy? Where are you”** but there was no answer. 

\--------------------------

It was bright. Black squinted at the light coming in through the curtains of his bedroom window. How did he get here? 

“BLACK! YOU’RE AWAKE!” how did Rus get in to his apartment? Black pushed himself up into a sitting position and saw Red standing behind Rus. So that's how they got in. 

**”Why are you in my apartment?”** Rus looked sheepish but Red pushed him out of the way.

 ** _”Creampuff wanted ta ask ya about his brother’s jacket and ya didn’t answer any o’ his calls or messages. Also it’s Saturday.”_** leave it to Red to be blunt. Stars, had he really been out for that long? What kind of condition would result in him getting so sick. Did he need to go see a doctor? Black was one hundred percent sure that he couldn’t pay for that. **_”And congrats I guess.”_**

**”What?”**

**_”Check yer soul.”_** Red gestured to Black’s chest and Black complied. Summoning his soul but keeping it concealed in his rib cage. Self checks were weird, they didn’t give as much information as a check done by another monster. So when Black checked his soul he expected that whatever Red was congratulating him about was something only Red could see with his strange judgement eye. 

But he was wrong

**_”The first time hurts like a bitch but- ”_**

“LANGUAGE!” Rus interrupted Red with a screech as Black sat there with a hand resting on his rib cage, dumbfounded. 

**_”I’m an adult.”_ **

“YOU DON’T ACT LIKE ONE.” The two bickered their way out of Black’s bedroom, Rus making sure to tell Black to call him if he needed anything and reminding him of dinner on Tuesday. Then there was a crackling sound and they were gone. Only then did Black take his soul out of his rib cage, staring at it in wonder as he read his stats over and over.

He had just lost nearly two LV.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> come visit me here [LaityAllyn](https://laityallyn.tumblr.com/)

**Author's Note:**

> I'm never quite sure how to start things, hopefully, my atrocious writing skills haven't scared you off yet and you're still willing to wait for the next update. In the meantime, if you're feeling bored feel free to visit my Tumblr [@LaityAllyn](https://laityallyn.tumblr.com/) and bug me or ask the skellies questions. Currently, all the skeletons except for Slim (because he's in a coma, duh) are open for asks. I tried to give at least a little bit of info about each of them to start off but as this story should be told entirely from Black's perspective if I follow my original plan, I may not give as much information on the others as you guys would like so I hope this helps. Thanks for reading!


End file.
